Bears, Balance, Goals and Boundaries

So . . . Bears

Yeah, not a lot of sewing lately, well, actually, a LOT of sewing. Bears, bears, bears, and pillows . . . and faces. Our little group at church had very few bears to stuff last month, so I just decided to focus on that for the past few weeks and boy did I ever. Had plenty to pray about while I was making those bears, I like doing something productive and mindless while I pray. I first read about this in Brother Lawrence's little book "Practicing the Presence of God", a book I go back to over and over again and one reason for the title of my blog. He washed a lot of dishes in a hospital kitchen in the 1600's and the book is a collection of conversations he had with his friends. Any of those mindless, alone time activities are perfect for praying. One of the little bits I underlined in the book in the Purpose of Suffering chapter. . .

"I believe that he (God) would give me strength to bear whatever evil he permitted to happen to me, and so I don't need to worry about that"

When I was doing chemo and feeling pretty worthless (as far as accomplishing anything) I did what I had to do and spent the rest of the time resting in His arms with that quote dancing in my head. I am not so sure how I will cope if anything more permanent happens in my life (chemo, thankfully, is temporary) but I sure hope to be able to put a smile on my face, know that Jesus is right beside me with his hand on my shoulder. Never leaving me to cope alone, even when I am feeling alone. Suffering, after all is something we all have in common. I don't think I could find a human being out there who hasn't suffered at some point in their lives.

So . . . Balance

I seem to have already gotten off balance in my life (and it's only February) so I have decided that I will be louder in my NO's when I am asked to do something that doesn't feel right. I am amazed at how quickly the vacuum that my illness created was filled with this and that. I had made a list and was going to stick to it, but I was asked to be on a committee at my church that sounded so great, and the pastor asked, and he caught me in a moment of energy (and weakness, HA!) and I went and said yes. The good part is, it is a temporary committee, the down side is, I was asked to head it up and pulled off a 27 minute meeting that accomplished everything I set out in the agenda. We don't have to meet again for five weeks. The Pastor has let me know how impressed he was, and I have let him know how much I hate meetings and don't want to be on another committee again . . . ever. I would rather make bears and do calligraphy and the other few things I do at my church. I will work in the background and am happy to be a helper, my leadership days are over, thank you very much. Why am I telling YOU this? Actually I am telling ME this. I need to hear it, write it, DO it. No more committees! Balance.

So . . . Goals

This past week, I didn't have to pay at Weight Watchers. What that means is that I reached the goal I set. My BMI is under 25, actually closer to 24 and a bit. It took several weeks to lose the few pounds needed, and the first few weeks were painfully slow, then something clicked and there I was, doing a little dance in the foyer of the Weight Watchers meeting. I will continue to go and stay focused. At my age and activity level, it is SO easy to put on a pound here and a pound there, and I am small enough that even three pounds makes a big difference.

The bonus of this is how good I am feeling. I was already feeling much recovered from the effects of chemo and the fact that it worked! Now, the few pounds I have lost have made me feel even better, more energy, and a couple of little niggley problems have cleared up. Talk about positive reinforcement. Yeah, I am still having tired days, but I am getting a bit older, after all, and have been through a lot, but I am thrilled at how I can go all day and still feel fine at the end of the day. Sunday, I left the house at 8 and got home and 5 and felt great, so I am getting there.

So . . . Boundaries

I have been reading that book for the past six months, working through the workbook and will continue to learn from it and practice the lessons it teaches. It is, amazingly, all based on the Bible, which surprised me. Hey, Jesus taught us how to have healthy relationships! Who knew??

When I think of the struggles, challenges and difficulties of life, that is reality. It seems to be generously dealt out to each and every one of us. But faith, hope and love will last forever.

So . . . what am I grateful for? First of all my faith, I would NOT be who I am without it. Don't know how ANY one can manage without keeping an eye on the BIG (i.e. GOD) picture. My husband, probably my greatest gift, how lucky to have found a guy who stuck with me through the thick and thin of life and is downright FUN to be around, what a treasure. My kids (all six) who are showing me that they have the "stuff" to make it through the roller coaster of life. Just these past few months they have each had a major challenge to deal with. May God's grace shower down on them, and may his Spirit strengthen them and guide them. My parents are BOTH still active, (mom is coming to visit) productive and healthy. And ol' dad will begin his 90th year in a few weeks! Go dad! Go mom! I am blessed with precious grandchildren, an extended family, friends, church, and community that give me opportunities for fun, fellowship, service and learning. I am grateful.