Volunteer!

I AM a volunteer. My husband makes enough money for us to not only survive, but to have enough to be able to see our grandchildren and other extended family on a fairly regular basis even though some are far away. Travel has gotten a bit pricey these days. I am SO thankful for that ability, as that is what life is about, family. Thank you hubby. So I CAN volunteer. 

I volunteer because I have the time and energy. After four years of being "under the weather" so to speak, dealing with health issues and then chemo and recovery, it was wildly exciting to be able to DO something again. I got pretty enthusiastic about being back in the swing of things. I didn't have to say "no" any more. So I said YES!

So I volunteer. I volunteer out of a yearning to do something positive in the world. My faith, although it doesn't REQUIRE "good works" for my salvation, does challenge us to live our faith by letting our little light shine. In my mind, doing for others is my natural tendency to express gratitude for all that I have. So I use my gifts of sewing, calligraphy, organization, etc to plug myself in here and there to shine as best I can. I am not a public speaker, so my faith expression is more by doing, loving, caring. There are many gifts. teaching, hospitality, prophecy, stuff like that. I have done enough study to know what mine are.

I also have, at times, plugged myself in to various volunteer jobs due to guilt, coercion, because "no one else" will volunteer, and misguided responsibility. Not a good way to volunteer your precious time, even when what I am doing is a "good" thing and many folks benefit.

This past week, I hit my limit and I broke, at least I felt like I broke. I felt broken, very broken, sad, tired, confused, frustrated and even guilty. After some soul searching, I made some phone calls and stepped back from three groups that I had been helping with. It was the right thing to do, no doubt, and I am very glad I did it. The morning after I did this, as I woke up, I felt like God was hugging me and telling me it was right and good that I did that. A simple feeling of peace and contentment. Ahhhhhhh.

Then . . . that evening, I got a call that made me laugh out loud. LOL!!  I had recently joined the American Sewing Guild and have attended three or four chapter meetings in my area. I am just now getting to know the women (I tend towards shyness in new situations that is difficult to ignore and overcome) and enjoying the programs presented, which are phenomenal. Nice. Then, the phone call. Our leader called to ask me if I would consider taking over the chapter. YIKES!  REALLY? For some reason I felt the need to run down the list of my other obligations before I said no. And why did I feel the need to do that? Guilt? I should help, as I am benefiting from the group. I probably have the skills and time to do this job. Good grief!  REALLY???

What a great lesson I got right then and there. I MUST have a big neon sign above my head that says "Ask me, I'm bored" or something along those lines. I have been asked, just in the past month to volunteer at a marathon, which I did, on a committee to make new paraments at church, which I might, and to head up my local chapter of the American Sewing Guild, which I won't!

So I will sit with the groups I help with for now, no list needed (practice NOT trying to justify a NO!) and ENJOY (for the most part) my volunteer jobs, and respect my personal need for quiet time with God to fill my spiritual tank. When there is none of that available my tank drains and I am not a happy camper.  I will take care of myself, my husband, my family, my home, my friends, my community, do my little volunteer jobs and let my little light shine.